This weekend is tough. I miss her big. I miss her always but today my heart can’t quite get back to the normal pace. I just knew something was wrong but then it hit me. This was a big weekend for Melina. Easter was her last holiday.
Memories can save us. But memories can also bury us. So tonight I’m making a choice. I needed to share her. I needed to be reminded of her Joy. I needed to share her Joy.
Melina’s last Easter was during Covid. There was no family outting. No egg hunts. No church. There was nothing. It was when the world truly stopped. It was also the month before Melina was diagnosed. The irony was at the time I thought COVID was my biggest worry. Little did I know…
But this day was Melina. We had already bought Easter dresses before life stopped. Outfits were very important to us. And Melina had to have all the colors. So after the Easter bunny left his baskets Melina said mommy let’s do it. I said do what? She said let’s get dressed up. So we did.
Looking back these are the times I always wonder did she know. Did she have a feeling?. Then I recall no this was Melina. This was Joy. This was just what Melina did. Everything was always a little “bigger” when Melina was involved.
So the girls got all dressed up and we had a photo shoot at our house. I went outside and took the pictures and my girls shined. My girls laughed. My girls smiled. My girls had each other. And for one of the last times I had my whole world together.
Because of my Melina I have the greatest pictures. The greatest memories of what became her last Easter. My Melina took care of me. My Melina gave me Joy.
I will miss her big all weekend. I will cry, and now if you see me you know why. I miss her crazy. I miss her laugh. I miss her smile. I miss her. But I will choose her and I hope you do too. Throw on the fancy clothes this weekend, take the picture, and Choose the Joy!