I have sat here for days thinking about the ridiculous word thankful. I’m not sure thankful is where I am at or will ever be again. Thanksgiving is a holiday that I gave thanks without ever thinking thanks could be gone.
I miss Melina with a million emotions but I have never found thankful as one of them. What I can say is I feel grateful. I am grateful for the amazing professionals who met us on this journey. I am grateful for the pictures I took. I am grateful for the amazing friends who choose to walk this road with me every day. I am grateful for every heart my girls touch. I am grateful for two beautiful girls who love their sister and continue to take her with them. I am grateful for their strength. I am grateful beyond words for my family.
I sit here stumped with what’s the difference between thankful and grateful because they don’t feel the same. So I actually looked up the difference between being thankful and being grateful:
“Grateful is different from the fleeting nature of the act of a mere ‘thank you’ or feeling thankful one day of the year. Through gratitude, we get to make a sense of our lives and learn to credit our loved ones with the appreciation they deserve.“
And right there after seeing that I realized Melina is always with me.
“Gratitude is the manifestation of love, devotion and commitment towards those who mean the most to you. “
Upon reading this I realize Melina continues to teach me and remind me she is always here. Melina continues to always make me a better person. I never have to be thankful. But I do always have to be grateful. Grateful to her, grateful to the close circle in my life, grateful for those who carry on her story. I am grateful everyday for the love I have that not even death could take. I could never be more grateful for my angel. And that gratefulness will always lead me to Choose Joy. 💚🌈💚