The Hardest Post

On May 22nd our world stopped turning and for the last month and two days we couldn’t regain our footing. There wasn’t time for options, and to be honest options don’t exist for the type of brain tumor that slammed us.

To have known our Melina was to love her. To love her wild hair, her silly ways, her brilliance, her stubbornness, and her fight. Melina completed our family and will always be our baby. Last night the tumor took her from us. Melina showed resilience but deserved more. In one month it took everything from her, yet she never lost her zest and she never lost her joy. Melina loved her family, her sisters, Cheeto, giraffes, her Starbucks menu, and target shopping no matter if it was from home or the hospital. Melina loved big. For the last days of her life she loved us and let us love her hard.

I have a pain in my heart that I could never explain. I have a ache that will never be filled. I miss her so much it physically hurts. But what I do know is I will always carry her joy. She was stronger than I was in the hospital. After her first two surgeries she told me I was a cry baby. And yes I am, and she gently reminded me that she knew that. I will cry for her every day. But I also have a choice to make. I have to find a way everyday to choose her joy. And I will. Some how I will.

Melina is the best thing this world has seen. And if you knew her you were blessed. But her job here isn’t done. Melina gave me her gifts of fight and joy. And I promise you baby girl I will fight. But I also promise you that the world will know your joy. So today if you read this. Please honor our Melina. Today you choose her joy. I assure you it’s all small things…let it go. So many people ask me what I needed during this. I need her to be remembered and I need to talk about her. What I need most is for you to remember to choose joy because in every situation you can. And Melina wouldn’t have it any other way.

Today she gets to run, swim, dance, flip and ride her bike. For the love I hope she isn’t singing but my gut tells me she is, and really thinks she is good at it. But one thing I can assure you, my baby can not sing but she sure can laugh. Choose joy because you can, and because we need you too.