Grief is absolutely unpredictable at times. There are days you wake up and think okay I can do this and it seems a little easier. Don’t get me wrong I will grieve Melina every minute of every day for the rest of my life. But there are moments where you can catch your breath. Then out of no where grief shows up. It comes in waves that take that same breath away. The unpredictability is hard and you fight to keep swimming and you do. Then there are the predictable waves the ones you know will come . You know in your heart these waves have the potential to rock you to your core. You can see it coming. Sometimes you can run from it or stay away. But there are big moments you have to face. No matter how challenging you know that wave will come and just take you down. Those are the ones that can take days to bounce back from. You prepare for them you, you swim and then you realize you survived again. Last February we got to see Klara dance her first solo. Klara has been a competition dancer. A love she found all on her own. Klara danced her solo and Melina was right there, on my lap screaming for her sister. Melina adored her Klara and it showed. Little did we know three weeks from that competition the world would shut down. And four months later we would lose Melina to a brain tumor. That is how fast our lives changed. And that is truly how fast those waves can come. In a week Klara gets to dance again. And she is over the moon. Yet I am so scared for my heart watching Klara dance. I am so scared to not have Melina on my lap. I am so scared to feel that wave because it will be there. I know it will. But I know we have to do this. I know I have to be there. Klara deserves the Joy. We all do, the Joy of seeing her on stage doing what she loves. We can’t run. This time we must face it. Each time we face those predictable waves we grow stronger. We don’t just swim we find the moments that matter. I don’t care how Klara places in her competition. I care that Klara stood up. I care that Klara stood on stage less than a year after losing her baby sister. I care that Klara has worked this hard. I care that Klara may have found peace in her heart. I care that Klara finds her Joy. And I LOVE that Klara tells me she will never dance alone because she dances with an angel. I read this quote the other day “be the things you loved most about the person who is gone.” So in true Melina fashion I will brace for the wave and I will win because Melina always had too. I will love my girls hard that day because Melina always loved us big. And I will find her Joy. I promise you baby girl no matter how hard the waves hit I will always find your Joy.