Today I will live for you, Melina

I always say grief can sneak up on you. May 22 seems so insignificant anymore because I miss Melina everyday. Yet my heart can never forget. Diagnosis day. Five years ago today my world came crashing down. That day, I looked at doctors in masks because no one could take them off since it was COVID. May 22, 2020 the life I had ended. I would never be the same.

This morning I woke up and I sensed the anxiety, the irritability, the “really I have to do this again”. But today five years later I acknowledge that I am different. Today I acknowledge the pain and today will always hurt. Yet today I looked in the mirror and made a choice, “Today I will live for you, Melina”. Brain tumors define ever day of my life, but May 22,2025 I decided I would define this day by gratitude. Today is defined how Melina would want. Today is defined by the people that walked in my life when they didn’t have too. Today I live a different life because I choose to find a deeper Joy then I knew existed. Today I choose Melina.

Thank you for my dearest friends that answered the phone that day when I called lost in the middle of an ER. Thank you to Dr. Tolen who supported us every step of this journey, there will never be words. Thank you to our ER nurse, Brian Wilson who choose to stand with me when my world came crashing down. Thank you for your compassion and the care you gave my baby. Thank you Mallory Capretta for being the angel that walked in my room so I wasn’t alone when the doctor told me their was a mass on my daughter’s brain. Thank you for loving her every step of the way. Thank you to Dr. Hughes who met me at the worst moment of my life and was one of the best and most empathetic medical professionals I will ever know. Thank you to Dr. Wright who always treated Melina for the brilliant baby that she was, and cared for her with such compassion. Thank you for reminding us how even she knew more than you, especially when it came to neuro exams. Thank you Ryan Dowling for walking into the hardest room and just talking to Melina. Thank you for bringing more McDonalds food and coffee than I have ever seen. Thank you to my family who never let us fall. Thank you for loving us so big and never leaving. And while COVID didn’t allow you to be at our side we felt you every step of the way. Thank you to Akron Children hospital for the peanut M&M in your vending machine. Thank you to every nurse, critical care personal, OR personal, and everyone in between. Thank you for showing up for us on May 22 when we didn’t know up from down.

Today I am forever grateful for the people on May 22 that showed up in ways they didn’t have too. Today I am grateful for a beautiful baby girl, Melina who is the best teacher I could have in this life. I am even more grateful to know that every May 22 moving forward she is and always will be mine.